When did I start saying THAT?!

So I'm sitting here, fighting every urge to declare bedtime at 4:30PM, trying to referee the worlds crankiest toddler brawl...yes you read that right, BRAWL!...My perfectly lovely little angels are tackling and kicking and clobbering one another. UGH! I think I have made every single threat a mother makes when faced with the end of her rope.

Here's the grand tally of items that mommy is holding hostage: 3 dollies, 1 enormous black steel toed boot (Sorry daddy, it was doing a no-no, you can have it back when Maddie apologizes to mommy for kicking her while wearing it), 6 christmas tree ornaments (whom are now residing at the tippy top of the tree until further notice), 2 Dora the Explorer sippy cups half filled with milk, 1 drop and roar dinosaur toy and about 7 million little tiny pony tail holders (um, WHY did the women have possession of these anyway?!)

I think the icing on the cake comes in the form of my ever so enlightened words of wisdom bestowed on my children. They are as follows:

"Hey, quit riding the dog, you wouldn't like it if he sat on YOUR back!"
"If you sit on your sisters head one more time you're going to bed!"
"Yes it does make mommy happy when you poop in the toilet"
"No I think that's just a raisin" (referring to the "thing" on the carpet behind the couch)
"Brush your teeth not your back!"
"DO NOT put that cheese into your underwear! That's yucky!"

Dare I go on?

Now....it's bathtime and then when these *ahem* monsters are off to bed I am set for a well deserved night of papering it up, I think I may have a few stamps that have never been used. Imagine that....lol